Which Weapon Would You Actually Carry?

How it works

Nine questions, four answers each, pulled at random from a longer bank. None of them ask what you think looks impressive. They ask how close you are willing to be, how long you are willing to wait, whether you would rather be feared or ignored, and what you actually do in the ninety seconds after a conversation stops working. The weapon at the end is a description of those answers, not a recommendation.

It is all worked out inside the page. No account, nothing sent, nothing kept — and the file arrived complete, so it runs perfectly with the network off.

The eight things you could be carrying

The longsword — a statement, a licence and a lot of weight. For people who want the question settled before it is asked.
The dagger — indoors, close, and legal almost everywhere. For the practical and the slightly frightening.
The spear — the most sensible weapon anyone ever invented and the least romantic. For those who like a working answer.
The axe — a tool that became an argument. For the direct, and for anyone who also needs firewood.
The bow — distance, patience, and a decision made calmly. For the ones who would rather not be in the room.
The warhammer — no finesse and no illusions about what this is. For the honest and the immovable.
The vial — the weapon of people who cannot win a fight and have thought about it carefully.
Nothing at all — words, standing, and the confidence that it will not come to that.

Why the sword is usually the wrong answer

A longsword is four feet long, costs what a horse costs, cannot be worn at most tables, is illegal to carry in half the towns worth visiting, and is the wrong tool for every fight that happens in a corridor — which is most of them. It is chosen anyway, constantly, because it is the weapon that says something about you before you have opened your mouth. That is a real function and this quiz takes it seriously; it just declines to pretend it is a practical one. The questions are built to separate the people who want to end a fight from the people who want to prevent one, and those two want completely different objects.

Taking it with you

Your answer is written into the address bar, so the link opens on the same verdict for whoever you send it to, with no account between them and it. A downloadable card is drawn in the page as well, for wherever an image works better than a link.

This is fan-made, and unofficial

This quiz is set in a fictional medieval world. It is a free, unofficial fan quiz — an unofficial fan tribute, made for fun. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to George R. R. Martin, HBO, or any official Game of Thrones property.

No named blade, character or scene from any book or television series appears in it; every word was written for this page. Iron Realms — the strategy game the rest of this site is about — is an original fantasy world with its own map, its own houses and its own art, and has no connection to Westeros. This corner is kept separate on purpose, and nothing in it should be read as suggesting otherwise.

Where the rest of them are

The wedding quiz asks the same question about a room rather than a weapon, and gets a different answer out of most people. The Westeros — ASOIAF & Game of Thrones section lists every quiz and tool in this wing, and the fan tributes hub has the rest of the corner. If you would rather play something than answer questions, Iron Realms is free and runs in a browser tab.